Thursday
Your individual assessments are below this answer.
This is an example answer I wrote for this question.
I don’t expect you to write at this level, but you can see the types of sentences plus the vocabulary at this level.
writeandimprove.com gave this a C2 level.
Today, more than ever, local authorities are facing unprecedented demands in relation to funding facilities such as sports centres and local parks. There are many factors to take into account when deciding how to allocate funds.
While many people regard sports centres as places to merely enjoy different forms of exercise, it is important to also consider fringe benefits. Having increasing demands on our time in the form of long working hours coupled with commuting, spending time playing sport not only provides the opportunity to experience the thrill of competing but it also
provides an environment conducive to social interaction, both during the match or activity and while relaxing in the bar afterwards. Although playing with friends in a semi-competitive atmosphere is the most common approach, it is often possible to take a course or have individual sessions with a professional coach.
The advantages previously discussed might suggest that this is an open-and-shut case. However, there are reasons for choosing local parks which many would say outweigh those of sports centres. Imagine an elderly couple holding hands sitting on a bench while excited children are climbing on play equipment a short distance from a group of their mothers who are chatting while keeping a keen eye on their offspring. In the distance, tennis courts and a bowling green are in continuous use. At any time, the participants and observers can take advantage of the all-day café which provides delicious, tasty snacks as well as a light lunch.
Naturally, there is a cost in terms of cutting the grass and maintaining flower beds, but the staff and equipment involved are usually in operation at several such locations.
Individuals might choose based solely on their personal preferences, but local authorities need to look at the wider population. The opportunity to be in a safe haven away from the pollution of the city, not to mention streets clogged with traffic, gives local parks the edge in the eyes of many people. 328 words.
9/20
Expand the introduction.
Try to concentrate on positives instead of negatives.
Give specific reasons why people should be encouraged to visit museums to justify extra money from local authorities.
Needs more detail about museums.
13/20
Generally well-organised.
Needs more detail about sports centres.
Other grammar structures would help: although,despite,if.
Cambridge examiners would probably give you a lower score.
18/20
Excellent work. It is easy to read and uses good linking phrases.
Some language could be upgraded.
Cambridge examiners might give you a lower score, but this is definitely at C1 level.
Well done!
8/20
Sentence structure was generally good.
Writeandimprove.com gave this a B1 level.
Use specific examples. You need to develop the ideas more.
Vocabulary and grammar was too basic for a C1 essay.
13/20
You have a good writing style. The introduction is good.
However, the question asked you to write about 2 of the options
and choose the most important.
You would lose marks for not following instructions.
Grammar and vocabulary is too basic for C1 level.
Cambridge examiners would probably give you a lower score.
10/20
You answered the question, but there was not enough detail and it needs specific examples.
The vocabulary is quite basic and there is no complex grammar.
You need to expand the general points.
The level is B1.
10/20
Too short. Using the suggested number of words gives you more chance to go into more depth and give examples.
There should be a general introduction first.
Sentence construction is generally good.
The paragraph about public gardens needs more advanced and specific vocabulary.
The grammar is too simple for C1 level. This is B1 level.
With these improvements you could get a good score.
12/20
Good organisation at the start with a general introduction.
It’s better to write about both choices and give your preference in the conclusion or summary.
You need to give more specific detailed examples.
Vocabulary and grammar are too basic for C1 level.
Cambridge examiners might give you a lower score.
10/20
You wrote good sentences. As a general essay, I would give you 13 or 14 out of 20, but the Cambridge marking scheme is stricter.
Climate change and industries are not relevant to this question. You would have maybe scored 4 for Communicative Achievement if you hadn’t included them.
You didn’t give enough details about sports centres.
Vocabulary is too basic for C1 level.
Use more advanced grammar.
11/20
Although it is easy to read, you have used basic vocabulary and grammar.
Separate the paragraphs more clearly.
Try to use language for contrast: although, even though
Spelling mistakes: helpfull,unconfortabe,pubblic,recive,picknic,definetly
13/20
A good effort. It is easy to read.
Have a clear and separate introduction and conclusion/summary.
You started writing about sports centres with no introduction to the essay as a whole.
Some vocabulary was good but try to include more advanced words.
‘I kind of feel like’ is too informal for an essay.